A black and white movie...

Because love is the only international language I know...

"The day you left there was a big tornado warning on the TV. You were still at the airport. Maybe your flight was delayed. And I was with the wine glass. Thinking why wasn’t I ever important to you as you were for me. Or important enough for you to jump in.

You never jumped and I ran away.

I’m writing a story for you. It’s not ours, or maybe it is if we had both stayed. I want to make it very special. Maybe then I’ll be able to let you know of everything I don’t understand. Why these ghosts keep hunting me over and over. Maybe I’m getting too much to drink lately. But maybe this story will bring us to an end. Or make us happen.

I wish I didn’t think of you anymore. I wish this shadow that keeps the sun away could finally disappear out of my life.

I think it’s in your eyes. The way you look at me. Or used to. It was like you where looking at a piece of art hanging on the wall of a small museum somewhere far. One of those paintings so simple that you don’t know why they make you fell like that. I was your piece of art. Not anymore. Or you are a hell of a faker.

These memories of home keep me awake in the night. I get more and more homesick when I look at your pictures. They come and go and I need to pretend it’s all okay. You’re in all of them. I close my eyes and see a street we are the only ones that know it. That street, our street.

I know you don’t deserve it.

There are two of you inside me. The one I know alone, and the one I know from others. The one I know from others is the one that sent me away. The one I know alone is the one that locks me in the past. And I can’t decide which of you I will keep inside of me forever as my memory.

I know you will never read the story I’m writing for you. You erased me out of your life like I’ve never been there before. When we see each other you still smile for a second like you used to, like the painting, then you remember I’m not there anymore and you stop. And we just talk about causalities.

But we were always a mess anyway. We were always a black and white movie.

Maybe this is our final goodbye. All I can wish right now is that one day you will read the story, and you will think it’s beautiful.

Tomorrow the tornado will be gone, so will you..."